Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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