I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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