theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
