he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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