i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
