Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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