she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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