So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
