Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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