I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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