You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
they need to just BURY HIM!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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