awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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