One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just blew my weed a kiss
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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