If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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