I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
