This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
