I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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