So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Who died my cat blue again?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
