Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
3 2 1 whiskey
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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