I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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