I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
