I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
