HIV tests are more positive than that guy
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
