what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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