dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize