I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
