i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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