honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
