We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there was a trapeze. enough said
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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