if i died would you start the facebook group?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I could fuck to npr.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
