i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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