Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
