It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
