In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
they need to just BURY HIM!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
