if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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