I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
