I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
