oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
