No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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