I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
