Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
