shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
