i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You have to summon your inner elephant
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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