If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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