I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
