all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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