But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
