Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
