Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
