if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
