my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize