i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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