Duck Duck Cougar?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
