I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
