Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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