We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
