CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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