xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
