it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
