I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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